In-laws Chapter One

This is a subject that will probably be continuously updated so keep that in mind. My issues with my in-laws have existed from the beginning and continue six years later, until even today. And I'm guessing at this point if after six years they still haven't fix themselves they will probably continue for the indeterminate future. Now mind you I say fix themselves but don't take that to mean that I expect them to actually fix themselves, a great deal of time and effort and energy, blood sweat and lots of tears has been shed not just on my part but my wife's to try to make things better. So I'm going to take a moment to try to explain the situation to those who probably are not familiar with it. If you are familiar with part of this story from previous post my apologies I am not trying to be redundant I just feel maybe some background might help new readers know what's going on. I'll try to be as brief as possible and not make this any longer than necessary but obviously it does take place over a period of six years so it will probably take several posts. First of all I call her my wife because we have chosen to cohabitate we have chosen to make a lifelong commitment to each other but neither legally nor based on any religious institution are we married. Basically in short we are just missing the piece of paper we have rings and we are planning a commitment ceremony to formalize the event we are planning on signing legal documents giving each other medical and durable power of attorney, and after that commitment ceremony we will be well she will be changing her last name to mine. In every way shape and form that matters we are married. I will go deeper into what we plan for the commitment ceremony in another post. Now back to the beginning, as you may know I was planning on joining the priesthood and she was working on her theater graduate degree, we both met at a youth group, and having many similar interests, fencing, weapons, martial arts, television shows, fantasy, science-fiction, you name it we pretty much here it, as I read somewhere our weirdness seems to overlap each other, now for anybody who knows me they know I'm not healthy and fact is I'm pretty sick, I'm also 15 years older than she is. Now that may seem a big number at first but she is nearing 30 and I am in my mid 40s, we are both at the same point in our lives starting, she's starting her life and I'm starting over because I screwed it up the first time. Now I knew that between the age difference and between my health her family was going to have a very hard time with us getting together, at the time I was also not working which made things even more difficult. Now knowing that this is going to be a difficult transition for their oldest daughter to be getting together with somebody seriously, you would think that I would tread carefully and try to be on as good terms as possible with her family. So over the years in fact the first year we got together my family moved to another state, I sacrificed my last Christmas with my family so that we could spend time with her family, I didn't want them to think I was trying to steal their daughter from them. Since then they have pretty much done everything conceivable to break us apart they have actually kidnapped her and taken her to the opposite end of the state and while they're turned her cellular phone off so she couldn't communicate with me. When she returned and we turned on a new cellular phone under our name we were being juvenile. They took her car away and gave it to me so that I can find a job, now this was a clever move on their part, I will always believe that this idea came from somebody other than her family, most people who have their car taken away and given to somebody else is not going to take that well and they're going to resent that person, it's just too smart of a trick but she's too sweet of a person and it didn't work. So in brief they have basically consistently tried to do everything they can to force a wedge in between us and continue to do so even after six years. Now things have changed, I'm working in a think tank as I've said in prior posts with some of the most incredible people in the world, working with this group doesn't exactly pay well but they are helping me go to school, so it's win-win to me. They might not pay well but in the end hopefully I'll end up with dual doctorates. You might think that working in fields like particle physics, nanotechnology, nano-materials, quantum technology, philosophy, theology, You would think this would finally garner some degree of respect from them but that would be a mistaken conclusion. So at this point I think this is pretty much gone on longer than I wanted it to so I'm going to try to tie this up, after everything we've been through after everything I've tried to do to come to some kind of joint peace with them we still are in this Cold War, they don't understand after everything that they've done even if we broke up she wouldn't come back to them, they burned that bridge, she's just trying to maintain a relationship because she loves them they are her parents, and I love her and if it's going to make her happy I'm going to do my best to try and mend the bridges between us. What I don't understand,I guess I will continue to struggle with, is why isn't it enough to know that we are happy, that I make her happy,I won't and don't hurt her and I would do anything in the world to see her smile? Why isn't that enough? What can I do to finally fix things between us and them because it seems to me the only thing that's going to make them happy is separating and that's not going to make her happy and her happiness is what comes first to me. I don't know, maybe this is to open, maybe this is not the right format for this kind of thought process but I promised honesty in this blog and I promised a share in my life and what I'm thinking about; so welcome to the inside of my mind. Welcome to my life. As the last and final note in this post anyway I just want it known that if she ever asked this to be over, it will be over, but the only way this is going to end is if she asks for it.