Humancentipede 2, yes they did!

Ok, honestly I watched the first one, because Conan O'brian mentioned it, he being a comic, I thought, got to be a joke, nope, horrible, the surgical imagery was horrific, and I hated myself for watching it all the way, so you ask why would I go back for seconds, ok honesty agian, I was curious, the first was pure goreporn with no redeeming qualities, what could they do in a sequel, the fact it got more stars was intriguing in itself. So where could they take it? They actually tried to do a noir piece in black and white, where the loner obsessed with the original movie desires to recreat it in real life, but he's justan abused, physically ill loner withno surgical skills to speak of, seeing the centipede as a phallic symbol obsessing him after his fathers sexual abuse which sent his father to jail, now an older overweight balding looser, who is now being abused by his mother because his father was sent to prison because of the sexual abuse. The scene of him urinating what must be assumed to be blood was gross, but the scenes of him watching and rewatching the surgical scenes from the original taking notes is just creepy, and fails to explain howhe could ever be semi-successful in his attempt. The fact that we never hear the loner speak agian is a crude noir technique to make us uncomfortable, mostly we hear just his gasps, before he hits his ventilator, an attempt to humanize him, epic fail if indeed it was. His collection process as a parking attendent, in a underground parking garage, a place we all are uncomfortable with is agian a basic tool misused. The imagery of him drooling watching the original movie as his glasses magnify his eyes to impossible dimensions is truly creepy, but the black and white avoids the visceral punch of this type of movie, they do try to up they horror by adding a baby/toddler to the group, so throughout the movie we hear the muffled cries, blended with the screams of a child. Throughout the movie he gets strange phone calls, which are some of the few voices heard. Yet agian they try humanizing the loser as he walks in to find his mother stabbing his pillow, which he climbs into bed, hearing a ghostly echo of his fathers voice. Of course mom finding his log and tearing it to shreds is his last shred of sanity, if there was any, but trying to redeem these acts as a response to sexual abuse, and the mental abuse of the mother fails in the extreme. I wish I could say one of the most disturbing images was him forcing his mothers face into the cage of a live centipede, then beats her to death, then sits her at table, where they finish dinner was the most horrendous but I'd be lying. Honestly I've wasted to much time on this already but I watched it, you my faithful readers get to enjoy it with me. I do wonder if him showering after killing his abusive mother and neighbor is supposedly cleansing, of course his therapist ending up being shot in the gentalia and executed, I'm guessing as a father figure leads to the eventual total psychological dissolution. It of course turns out the phone calls where about him drawing the original actors back to use them in the real experiment, tricking thier managers into believing they are auditioioning for a blockbuster movie. Honestly having the actors from the original wake up to find thier in that actual situation was interesting, but done before, if I'm not mistaken, I wish I could pull up a few premises but the best I can do is one of the nightmare on elm street movies, a scream movie and maybe a Jason movie, agian big budget horror movies, not a sad Indy noir attempt, with a weird asynchronous soundtrack. Considering his version of anesthetic is a whack to the head, I'm surprised anyone is still alive, science not getting in the way here, of course as he begins the process, using a hammer to remove the teeth should be terrible, and our looser listening to the belly of a victim can hear a child's heart beat is just silly. Agian the amputation scenes so revolting in the first movie looses much of its power being in black and white, I guess Hershey made a fortune on this movie, though when it comes time to assemble his creature, a stapler works as well as stitches, right? So basicly if you haven't gotten it yet, and your still reading, why are you still reading, it's just an obscenity trying to remake the original in some artsy way while humanizing the looser, don't bother watching it unless your a film student and can turn it into a paper, much as I am.