Outside

How do you explain to people, somewhere, somehow you've become agoraphobic, the idea of going out, the idea of being around people has gotten to the point where the stress just makes me pass out, I can't breath.  I've always had minor issues about leaving my comfort zone. Ever since I started having the vision problems it's gotten much worse.  It seems like if my wife is there I'm more comfortable, but that doesn't mean I don't resist as much as possible.  Meeting new people, going to new places are very difficult, I probably leave the house once every three months for doctores visits.  I telecommute and do all my school online, and in that social forum can be pretty active, but leaving the house is acutely uncomfortable, it's not something I'm really ready to tell people, in fact most of my friends reading this will find it surprising.  Or maybe not. Maybe I'm deluding myself thinking people don't realize my entire life is online.
   24/7 I'm open work, research, teleconferenceing, on the phone, studying, as long as it keeps me from having to leave, now with kindle I don't even have to leave to buy movies, music, and what not. Then you have someone invite you to go somewhere....how do you explain just the thought is enough to cause you to pass out?  I guess only time will tell, but I feel like until I get my health issues taken care of I don't thing being out in public while not being able to see what's around me is going do be anything less than anxiety ridden.  Until then I really don't know, as much as this is an issue now, before when I could drive, and see it wasn't, maybe in this life nothing is permenent. I guess we'll see what the future holds.