Appearances, as stupid as it is we decide about someone in the first 15 seconds of meeting them our first impressions, which usually formulate the growing mindset of an individual. I've known this to be true forever. Observing how people's opinions have changed with my appearance have been painfully acute. Like most in competitive sports I've taken my fair share of facial damage. My nose has been broken, I've lost teeth, as my health has declined certain medications have made the teeth situation worse. I'm not sure there are many martial arts that haven't had similar issues, after wars believed was a minor stroke the muscles around my right eye don't work right so it points the wrong way, after a car accident in 1990 ended my competition phase and spinal surgery in '95 fused improperly I have difficulty controlling my lower body, especially my left half.
Now that's the physical garbage right? What matters is the person, you know the part of me that's got an IQ of 185(which is pretty meaningless), educated, well read, I used to be called charismatic, I used to have a coercive smile, something called "the look", which friends would jealously discuss. I guess I still look younger than my age, my wife is 14 years younger and most people have no idea, when we went to counseling in the beginning to make sure we weren't making a huge mistake getting together with the age thing, I actually had to show her my ID. Jump to today, I'm not handsome, never was, but add the eye, the teeth, the broken nose, I meet new people and no longer am I the charismatic, charmer knowledgeable on pretty much any topic you'd like to converse about, somehow I've become an uneducated poor person in need of pity and a hand out.
When, and how did this happen? I speak and read about 15 languages (not fluently, but I get through), I've got over ten black belts, the result of over twenty years of hard work, which continues today. I'm usually reading 5-6 books at any given time depending on which room I'm in, for fun, school and work books don't count. I'm working on two multi-disciplinary doctorates and work with the guys and ladies we all watch on how the universe works, taboo, through the wormhole or any number of shows of this type. Based on a few papers I've been asked to talk on a show like this myself, and am regularly asked to do webinars or presentations based on my papers at national and international labs and or universities. Most people don't realize what I actually do, in simple terms I'm given a subject or problem, which I then must acquire usually what would amount to several different degrees worth of knowledge to write up the needed paper. Sometimes it's ostiloligy, or forensics, sometimes it's cryptozoology. I never know what I'm going to be hired to work on, but talk about serotonin uptake inhibitors and I know what your talking about it was part of the psycho-pharmacology and neurobiology paper I wrote last week. Somehow I'm becoming the goto guy on B. I. I. D. S.
Now this is not in any way meant to be a a how cool am I post, or a bitter rant against aging, or anything like that, I apologize if that's how it comes off, thinker here not a feeler. What it is meant to be is a let's stop judging each other by what we look like, it means nothing, we are all the sum of our parts, our experience, our personality, our beliefs, the things we know. I'm glad I've passed through this phase because I'll have surgery to fix the eye, and in time the teeth will be mended, the nose? Well I kinda like the nose I think it adds character to my face, unless it becomes a health issue I'll probably leave it alone, then I'll be that charismatic charmer I was, but I'll know. I'll know how you judge people, how you presume there the lowest common denominator, because I was you. You know I've read the studies, moreover I have lived it, my intellect has always separated me from you, most of you will never come close to my intellect, as my counselor put it, I'm an alien on an alien world where few are my intellectual equals, but I can't paint, or draw some of you can. Others can play an instrument, or are funny, we are all unique and special in our talents.
When we begin thinking we're better than other people because we can sing, or speak 15 languages were failing as human beings. Instead of prejudging people based on thier looks or even thier skills is rediculous and hopefully we can move to embracing the "weird" amongst us. Because to me your weird, why do you cry or get hurt, waste your time on people not worthy of yours? Maybe because we done really know what worthy means, like the homeless man in front of the theater that suddenly breaks into ave Maria, so beautifully I would never, could never understand how that man is not onstage. I may have a brain the size of the planet, but I can't sing like an angel, or draw like some of my friends. I'd give just about anything to be able to move people to tears with my voice evoking such emotion, or give true physical tangible touching reality to the glittering images in my mind, what's raw computational power compared to that?
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